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University edition by Matthew Burnett Humor Entertainment eBooks

Download As PDF : University edition by Matthew Burnett Humor Entertainment eBooks

Follow a university department faculty from finals week through the following semester. From finals week at Powell University where Michael Aronson, psychology professor, is doing his best to avoid as many students as possible. The psychology department at Powell, Walt the gourmet cook, Christine the weight lifter, Vic the old fashioned academic who still wears a suit and tie, and Tom the department chair wrap up yet another semester.
After break a new semester begins. The excitement of the first day, students who can’t find rooms, Tom welcoming everyone back, a sure sign of a top flight administrator, the thrill of finding that none of your classes have been canceled for lack of enrollment, a professor worst fear. Michael meets Dale, a student who looks and smells like a leftover from the sixties. This begins a semester long relationship which can best be described as venomous. Sales reps descend on professors touting their respective textbooks with cutting edge features that in reality all texts have and leave review copies.
Like all semesters this one goes by too slow and too fast. Intro psyc students “volunteer”, as required, to be subjects in experiments. The hunt begins for new faculty. After discussion that a three year old would find immature the department sets up next year’s academic schedule.
The usual goings on occur as a female professor is charged with sexual harassment, an unsupervised student almost sets fire to the psyc building while studying the effects of cigarette smoke and Michael spends the weekend answering calls about the car he has for sale, at least according to the ad in the local paper that the school joker has placed. Routine stuff.
Michael wins the pool for the highest number of mid-term drops by his students. As happens every semester a student complains that Michael lost his test. The ‘missing’ test, with the highest grade of any test, shows up where Michael knows it could not have been lost causing Michael to ‘lose’ it again. It continues to show up once a week for the rest of the semester as the student keeps planting it in Michael’s office waiting for him to find it.
The mid-semester slump begins, contracts are given to vendors based on their contributions to the president’s favorite charity, professors who average one sick day a week retire with a perfect attendance record and a bonus, the university spends a fortune on computers for everyone’s office while half the faculty doesn’t understand the concept of a mouse and the psyc department is broke. To cure the blues the psyc folk buy a satellite dish and install it in the staff lounge.
The biggest snowstorm in memory hits Powell shutting the school and stranding Michael at home. This is followed by the worst coldsnap in memory again shutting down the school. Michael explains the joys of an afternoon nap. Due to the department budget copy paper is rationed, as is everything else.
The school joker continues to appear at random times, painting offices shocking pink, dismantling antique roll-top desks that are their owner’s pride and joy and so on. With commencement around the corner the ‘graduation memo’ comes out. It stresses no reading of magazines during the ceremony, no ‘funny’ hats, and try to stay awake for God’s sake. Professors steal supplies from each other since the department can’t afford to buy any.
Finally the end of the semester and the most memorable graduation in the history of Powell.